Generic Questors Song

to the tune of “When Johnny Comes Marching Home”

by Harlock

 

We’re on a quest to save our land, we are, we are. (2x)

Our group’s not made up of one race,

That’s not PC, we must save face,

And we’re off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

We’re off to fight the Evil One, we are, we are. (2x)

He’s mean and vile, he’s twisted and cruel.

We must beat him so that good may rule,

So we’re off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

We’re out to put the good in power, we are, we are. (2x)

The Evil One has ruled too long,

If we beat him we’ll be famed in song,

So we’re off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

We went and killed the Evil One, we did, we did. (2x)

But though we’ve slain the Evil One

We didn’t get his wife and son,

So we’ll have to go off questing again some day.

 

And for additional silliness…

 

The farmer on this hair-brained quest, I am, I am. (2x)

I don’t know what I’m doing here:

I just stepped out to have a beer,

But I’m off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

The knight upon this noble quest, c’est moi, c’est moi. (2x)

I am the best man in a fight—(other singers interrupt)

Though freely stated, he’s not too bright—(knight looks offended)

And I’m off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

The squire of the noble knight, I am, I am. (2x)

Though cleaning weapons is no joy,

It’s better than being a stableboy,

So I’m off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

The mage upon this screwy quest, I am, I am. (2x)

As long as my spells do not fail,

I just might live to tell this tale,

And I’m off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

The amazon upon this quest, I am, I am. (2x)

I hack and slay among the best,

And hurt the men who ogle my chest,

(Alternate line: Even though I’m barely dressed)

And I’m off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

The cleric on this holy quest, I am, I am. (2x)

I don’t know any healing spells,

But I turn zombies REALLY WELL!

And I’m off to rid the land of the Evil One.

 

The gutless thief upon this quest, I am, I am. (2x)

I hope that we don’t find a fight,

If given the choice I’ll run in fright,

So I hope that we don’t find the Evil One.

 

The kender on this neato quest, that’s me, that’s me! (2x)

I don’t know what is going on,

At least they let me tag along!

And we’re off to rid the—(spoken) What were we doing, again?

 

The matchmaker upon this quest, I am, I am (2x)

Though we may go and return from Hell,

I’ll make sure that you marry well,

And I’ll be sure you don’t marry the Evil One.

 

(to the tune of “Greensleeves”)

The tuneless bard upon this quest—(singer is interrupted in some fashion)

 

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