by Harlock, with many thanks to Mickey Pheonix for the chording
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Oftentimes I lie awake and wonder in the night,
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Just who it was who brought the human species to the light.
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For “bootstrap” sentience, they say, has ne’er before been seen—
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But neither has the Patron race who’d claim our grubby genes.
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Chorus: Uplift, Uplift—the oldest game around.
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Don’t want Uplift, just leave me on the ground.
The Kanten and the Tymbrimi decided to be friends.
The Gubru and the Thennanin we forced to make amends.
Tandu, Soro, Jophur, Pil, and I forget the rest—
Wish Progenitors would come and straighten out the mess. (Chorus)
The great Galactic Library’s a wonder to behold—
It’s just too bad that all the data is so bloody old.
So we sent out some survey ships to find what was around,
And now poor Streaker’s in the deepest mess that could be found. (Chorus)
Of course, as man’s a patron species, we have claim to space
On other planets than the one that bi(e?)rthed the human race.
Migration Institute, they said, “You can have these four—
But you must leave their eco-systems better than before.” (Chorus)
So oftentimes I lie awake and wonder in the night,
Just who it was that brought the human species to the light.
Despite our wolfling efforts, though I’ll say they’ve caused a stir,
Galactic politics are worse than Terrans ever were! (Chorus)
This is another one I’m going to have to record one of these days.